A Day of Contemplation …

7 June, 2004 Ken Uncategorized

I spent yesterday with Merry and her Mom in Naigara-On-The-Lake, Canada. Getting a little lost on both sides of the border (I still can’t believe the Robert Moses Parkway in no way connects with the Lewiston-Queenston Bridge!) was at least scenic, and after a day of window-licking (and a purchase or two, but not myself), we stopped by the (once again closed) Ten Thousand Buddha Temple for Word Peace. Even closed, it made me happy to see it, and to know they are constructing even more.

During the day, I went from contemplating being upset with my daughter’s mom to sort of finally understanding what Christina was telling me (indirectly, as it seems most women of any age cannot say a plain thing if their lives depend on it) about why her mom was really mad at me, or at least gravely unhappy. At first I felt it was all about the fact that I actually said something I thought was true and didn’t want to have to apologize for it. I started to think maybe it would help to apologize just to keep the peace. Then I started realizing that not only would it not hurt to apologize, from her point of view (which was legitamate in its own way) she may truly deserve an apology. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense to not blame her for her negative feelings toward me and I should apologize for making her feel that way. *exhale*

But then begs the question of accepting the apology or getting more upset. Am I the one being paranoid? Yep, I think I am being exactly what I accused HER of, and if I apologize, at least I did it, accepted or not.

Anyway, I forwarded my resume for a job opportunity I may really enjoy … will keep you all posted!


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