Why the Chicken Crossed the Road?

7 October, 2005 Ken Editorial & Discussion

Source: Joke-Of-The-Day

John Locke: Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Timothy Leary: Because that’s the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.” And the Chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Darwin #1: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically predisposed to cross roads

Darwin #2: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?”

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken 2000, which will both cross roads AND balance your checkbook, though when it divides 3 by 2 it gets 1.4999999999.

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

Plato: For the greater good.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.

Joseph Stalin: I don’t care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.

Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes the chicken crossed the road, but why he crossed, I’ve not been told!

OJ Simpson: It didn’t. I was playing golf with it at the time.

Note: This is borrowed from the Joke-of-the-Day I get in my email. I ge t a spam or two along with it, but it’s clearly labeled and worth the saying, inspirational notes, and of vourse … the joke(s). Sign up on their Registration Page.

One response to “Why the Chicken Crossed the Road?”

  • John Tucker says:

    : Feudalism: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. Pure Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes the cows and puts them in a barn with everyone one elses cows. You have to take care of all the cows but the government gives you as much milk as you need. Bureaucratic Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone elses cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as current regulations allow. Facism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk. Pure Communism: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them and you all share the milk. Russian Communism: You have two cows. You have to take care of them but the government takes all the milk. Dictatorship: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you. Singaporian Democracy: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment. Militarianism: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you for service. Pure Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk. Representative Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to decide who gets the milk. American Democracy: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for their party. After the election, the President is impeached for speculating in cow futures and the press dubs the affair, “Cowgate”. British Democracy: You have two cows. You feed them sheep brains and they go mad. The government does nothing. Pure Bureacracy: You have two cows. At first, the government regulates what and when you can feed them as well as when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that, it takes both cows, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows. Anarchy: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair market price or the neighbors try to kill you and take the cows. Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and purchase a bull. Hong Kong Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly-listed company using letters of credit obtained by your brother in law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by a majority stockholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows milk back to the listed company. — The annual report states that the company owns eight cows with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows due to bad Feng Shui. Environmentalism: You have two cows. The government bans milking or killing cows. Feminism: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf. Totalitarianism: You have two cows. The government takes both and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned. Political Correctness: You have two cows. Since ownership is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war mongering and intolerant past, the government describes you as associated with two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Powered by http://wordpress.org/ and http://www.hqpremiumthemes.com/
Log in here!