CARS & Couch Patrol

14 November, 2006 Ken Uncategorized

Maybe it’s from watching the movie “Cars”, which was much better than I though it would be, with a backstory about Route 66 and all that, or maybe it’s the decent soundsystem in my new Escort … but I am REALLY enjoying being behind the wheel these days, truck or car.

And a lot of vehicular activity has taken place.

Coming back from Varysburg the other night, I get on the 400 at East Aurora and swerve wildly at the last second to avoid a large, dark object.

Brain, please identify object in road within next .7 seconds …

Large
Profile not deer – too large
Profile not moose – yeah right
Vehicle debris / part? Too large, non-reflective from headlights, no sharp edges discerned. Unlikely,

Conclusion: Sofa

Wha-huh? No, it wasn’t sitting there with people watching a plasma screen TV in the next lane. It obviously fell off a truck or something. And it was dark and diffusive in texture enough to not be visible until you’re practically on top of it — which I almost was with my truck. So I call 911, who seemed aware there was couch issue on the East Aurora Expressway, yet there was no officer on the way to arrest said apholstery-laden loiterer. So I backed up along the right shoulder, hazards on, and removed a pillow, an armrest cover, and moved off-road the couch itself, in between sporadic bouts of traffic. Move a couch, save the day, I always say. Well not often. Okay, I’ve never said that. But in some small way, that still makes me the man.

I wonder if Route 66 has any couches in need of rescue?

2 Responses to “CARS & Couch Patrol”

  • alb3rt_s says:

    Re: beleave it or not
    Wildlife furniture? The very idea gets me all warm and fuzzy.

  • phenixred says:

    beleave it or not
    I actually had the same thing happen to me on River Road in Riverside back in 1994 or 1995. I was driving home at about 2 am, and I ALMOST hit a huge black sofa in the middle of the road. I was lucky there was noone comming the other way, because I had to swerve into the other lane and almost hit it anyway.
    I remember thinking. “who leaves a damn couch in the middle of the road?”
    I on the other hand dident get out of my car and move it. I’m not stupid enough to get out of my car in the middle of the night in riverside to rearange wildlife furnature.


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