It’s dark and the recycle truck is finally picking up. And it’s finally snowing — really snowing to where it doesn’t melt when it touches the ground. It’s felt like Mother nature hit the pause button for too long. It just didn’t feel right and I’ve been out of sorts. It’s been often warmer here than in Arizona. Even the Holidays thus far have been off, between the mid-week Christmas and our usual Christmas Day plans with the in-laws put on hold due to Mom-mom’s being in the hospital.
And money’s been tighter than usual, with less gift exchanging out of necessity. I’d add the sarcastic meme “Thanks, Obama”, but it’s not far off considering we’re now being hit with a fine … excuse me, “tax” … for not being able to afford health insurance in the first place. But my dwindling tolerance of the political process is another distraction from getting things done, so I’ll stop there.
The Star Wars movie was good, and touching in spots to see familiar faces again, but only a touch magical at most. Still haven’t processed how I feel about it. It was more like a rehash than a continuation of the saga. But something about the scenery — the lakes and snowy forests — was less alien, almost familiar, even comforting. We’ll have to see.
I still want to reboot my life in some way. But I just can’t consistently focus. And my usual end-of-year digital enema may have to wait, since OneDrive is giving me lots of trouble. I was hoping this would be the first time I could do all this without huge external drive or burning DVDs. But I was planning on archiving everything on a flash drive as a tertiary backup. In the end my mantra has been to simplify, at least without triggering too much OCD stress from curbing digital hoarding. Maybe Windows 10, a new printer, and a fresh version of Quickbooks will suffice.
I’m also starting to be concerned about my health. I’ve been a touch queasy recently — maybe coming down with something — and have been short of breath. Not just the out-of-shape short of breath I sometimes get, but when it’s cold and I run outdoors and back quickly I feel like I’m going to die. I weigh a record 230 pounds or so and spend too much time at my desk, even only doing Tai Chi with the Vets once a week now. Maybe I should take up Yoga or something, rather than such a heavy diet of Netflix and Minecraft.
Other than that, we put the block club in hibernation mode. On the other hand, I’m now on the board of directors for the new not-for-profit preservation company “Buffum House, Inc.” as secretary. I think I will always have mixed feeling about living here. Sometimes it feels like home, and sometimes it feels like it will never be my neighborhood of choice.
I just feel like I have to decide to more seriously move forward in my life in general — but can’t make that quality decision, that first step whatever it is. In the back of my mind, the limits of mortal time nag at me, wondering what I could have done if I had started years ago, and yet unable to move the paradigm forward to impactfully consider what I could still do if only I would start today.
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