The air lately has seemed oddly like Spring and it whets my appetite for it. But I would have wanted a touch more of a snowy Winter I thought to myself, and so it happened — we will have brilliantly white snow on the ground for Little Christmas.
I never did switch over my accounting as planned during my usual seasonal “shutdown”, and the usual backups are automated on the cloud these days. All I have to do is organize photos and finish scanning in bills to close out the year. But in spite of busy-ness this January, I feel things are bright.
Found one of the family funerary crosses and added it to the wall on the maid’s staircase under a shelf we will dedicate to the ashes of our beloved pets, including Lola who passed recently. I made fun of her but loved her just the same. Like Lady was “my” dog, Lola was Mer’s and it’s odd not having her underfoot and being able to wear socks in the house again. Merry says that Hazel came just in time, but she’s been in her crate most of the time with the Christmas Season excitement and her still being quite the handful of a puppy.
I went the first time ever to Midnight Mass (at St. Bernard’s, the parish my wife grew up in) and was very touched to be at a traditional Mass again. If we went as a family, I would happily become involved in a parish like I used to.
I didn’t decide to be a writer this upcoming year. I decided I am clearly already one and just need to act like it. I’ve written things published and reprinted and have so much more to give form to. I sincerely hope this will bear financial fruits as well, as I can see a day I when have grown too tired to deal with my current occupation. I never expected to do it this long, actually.
I welcome making changes within myself and reaffirmations of who I am, but much more internally than externally. I need to take better care of myself physically and financially, but I feel like taking the reigns again on a deeper level is vital. I have a strong sense of mortality these days, and grasping the bigger picture isn’t as easy as it once was so long ago.
Time management is the key I think.
But I have distraction of all sorts, including entertainment. I enjoy Minecraft way too much (between exploring and building, it’s a dream of a game). I also play Ingress by Niantic (which is the most fun when in the car with Merry or Jeff as they hit Poke-stops), but not as much now that I hit level 8 in under 80 days and it’s not much of a challenge. Then again, it makes me aware of so many landmarks I didn’t notice or knew about, and the “missions” might be a fun way to explore the physical world. I just need to do more of it on foot, and less “cargress”.
But I still have this optimism about the coming year. A sense of time ticking away and things to be done, especially long-term goals, but also have a sense of opportunity. I feel like I am finding and living in the place where I am more and more. Breathe.