We’re at the edge of the snowbelt for the first snow of the season, getting almost two feet here while those to the south have driving bans and those to the north have green lawns. Our usual Sunday visit of “the Daves” to watch old Dr.Who episodes was called off, but it gives me time to finish final editing for my book on Research Lodges — and this entry.
Last week I caught up with Dr. Abbarno, one of my college Philosophy professors. He was elated that I was what he described as my usual self — cheerful and energetic. Turns out Wittgenstein was his influence on me rather than Professor Nielsen as I had thought, and I related finding a copy of “Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus” in Maine. We had a ball discussing all things, including the plight of my Alma Mater. (Makes me want more than ever to start a think tank, perhaps a “Council of Rats” in Aesop’s parlance.)
Reminded me of another run-in I had earlier in the year. My classmate, Tim Banks, was the presiding officer of a Degree at a Lodge I assisted as Chaplain. He said something to the effect of people thinking of me as a “weird dude” but told others that if they got to know me, they would be surprised what a great person I was.
These sorts of compliments give me more reassurance than I could hope for. I often wonder how good (or not-so-good) of a person I was, or if I was, if I had lost my luster, so to speak. I like being me, in a deep but simple way, and sometimes need reassurance it’s okay to be just that. Part of my disconnection with the past are those dark years just after college. It’s hard to believe I am the same person before and after, but the connection between them affirms that I remained myself, at least in fundamental ways that need not change.
Trying to be mindful not to doom-scroll or over-engage in social media, and being almost done with the current book project, I hope to enjoy a well-paced and contemplative Advent.