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Top Ten Games of 2000
by guest writer Steel Bates

Here it is! According to renowned computer psychic Swami Hawnki Dori, we have by far the first “Best Games of 2000” list. This (next) year will show that comebacks and games built on earlier themes will be the big hits. Drum roll, please…

Network Solitaire
Up to 8 users at once can kibbutz and vie for moving the cards all at the same time, real time. Smacking and rude comments at your descretion.

Sonic the Ground Sloth
Specially made for people with little or no RAM on or off their video card. Can have multiplayer on the net (AOL or Buffnet connections preferred).

Doom: The Wonder Years
What's a little space marine to do? A clear cross between Quake and Rug Rats. Secret Food Fight level a must-taste.

Feel the real time excitement in a compelling 2-D environment, competing against the toughest smoking, dabbing, bingo-yelling biddies in the hall. Discover their ancient Catholic martial art where tiny discs and good luck charms are the ultimate weapons.

Oregon Trail of Blood
Recreate the slaughter and domination over our wonderful nation's native cultures. Settle on their lands any way you can and bring on the extinction of the American Bison in record time. Watch out Buffalo Bill!

Reader Rabbit Revenge
Tired of cute and monosyllabic lessons for a barely post-drooling audience, he's armed and dangerous, with obscene and offensive word games where the correct vowel can mean life or death for any number of your newly met animated friends.

MaJong: The Gathering
Need we say more?