If was strange going to church without even calling Mary to come with us (Merry’s Uncle’s Wife’s Mom) — she died early in the week. And I found out last night no services are planned at all. Doesn’t seem right to me, but I think that’s her choice.
And Tiger is gone — off to another home, as the other cats wont even let him use the litter box and we can’t wash everything from urine all the time. Sad … Christina and I were with him his whole life.
I’ve also been bummed out a bit all week. My daughter’s mom took an email I wrote really personally (not intentional on my part) and almost regressed wholesale into the same verbal abuse and (rediculously false) accusations I endured when Christina was young. I know she was really upset, and she apologized (as did I), but it opened up old wounds that may never heal. I think I’ve been keeping the wounds open myself this last week actually insterad of just forgetting about it — and am looking for the source of the pain and guilt and anger. Part of me just wants the record straight. Christina says she remembers things very differently from what her mom said, but also some things are different from what I remember. I’ve thought about writing a book again about it all. I’ve got amazing records about that time in my lefe considering the sad shape I was in. But I need to spend my time on more important things right now — like the present, and the future.